My dearest, beloved beautiful Loligirl, - today would have been your twentieth birthday, and dear Loula's, and I awoke with my pillow wet with tears of longing. I went into the living room, and seeing your empty bed by the window with your pawprint on a card in it, I remembered everything that had happened, I burst into bitter tears, with my head buried in your little bed. Oh my darling, I would give anything for just one moment in time, when I could put my arms around you, kiss your furry head and gaze into your mysterious green eyes. It is strange, cats don't often look into ones eyes, but you did, as if you knew and understood what I was saying and feeling. I miss you so very, very much; this has been the worst year in my life - loosing first Ray and then you, in the same year, with only months between you. And my sweet, you died only four days after my eightieth birthday - a birthday that is the worst I have ever had.
I will never forget that day on the 23rd of December 2004, when Julie brought you and Loula with Ray and me , home to our flat when you were only six weeks old!! We drove through the quiet, wintery streets with the stars glowing above in the dark skies, and I had the feeling that my life was about to change. I was right - it did and it was because of you two - you brought love and light into my life and everything that had been dark, became joyful. You and Loula played together for hours then, and dear Ray looked after you, as I was at work, but Ray was between jobs. You were up to all manner of tricks, as you can see from the photograph with you both in the fridge - and I was trying to clean it. Another time, when I was trying to clean the kitchen floor, you would chase the mop, often jumping on it and making it impossible to clean. You played plenty of tricks with dear Ray, I remember once when I had come back from work, he said to me indignantly: "She (Loula) never closes drawers, after she has been in them !!!" Everything was now so good with darling Ray and both of you - things that had been like black and white TV, became like colour TV.
May God always watch over you and Loula, and God Bless you on this your birthday and always; darling Loligirl, I will always love you and carry you in my heart. Till we meet in Heaven, your loving Mum xxx

Added by Francesca Mum, on 14/11/2024

My darling, sweet, angel baby - on Thursday it will be your birthday - yours and Loula's; You would have been twenty and the nineteen years and ten months that you lived, were the happiest in my life. I remember when you and Loula were small kittens and I had a few problems, I thought "As long as my girls are alright, everything else will be alright" and that is true you know - you two were the most important thing in my life, and then of course, when Loulamay left, you alone were. The song of Cilla's springs to mind " You're my world, you are my my night and day. "And you were - you were always by my side, and now you will always be in my heart.
Now Ray has gone, and you, Loula and Madonna, Rocco and I live alone in the flat. At night, I will look sadly out of the window, where your bed is, and gazing at the dark skies, with their millions of little stars glittering there, I will ask why you have gone, why you have been taken from me like this. I loved you so. I remember, how when you were alive, I used to put my arms around you and kissing your furry head, I would gaze into your eyes that glittered with stars too, and tell you how much I loved you and begged you never to leave me. You would purr gently as if you understood - I'm sure you did, my darling Lola. Now, I put my arms around your empty bed, as my heartfelt tears fall on it.
Your bed and little food tray, will always be left by the window, by a little memorial from me, and your paw print that they put on a card at the vets.Your little casket with your ashes, is by Ray's, with Loulamay's and Madonna's in a corner of the room -- a little shrine to you all.

i think Rocco misses you - he is very quiet now, darling and follows me around the flat, as if he is wondering what is going on. I think he only wanted to play, when he jumped on you! Sometimes, when I am stroking him, he will stick one of his claws into my hand - I think he wants to play. But he spends a lot of time sleeping under the sofa cover!
May God Bless you and Loula , my angel. May He always watch over you both,. Until we meet in Heaven. I will always love you, dearest Lola. Your loving Mum xxxx

Added by Francesca Mum, on 12/11/2024

My angel baby I miss you more than words can say and you will live in my heart forever. I dream of you every night and one day we will be together for always, with Loulamay your lovely sister and Madonna and dear Ray. You were always by my side whatever happened and the day you left me was one of the saddest in my life and I don't know how I can go on without you . Till we meet in heaven, and may God Bless you and watch over you my Angel baby. Love from Francesca our mum. xxx

Added by Francesca Mum on 06/11/2024